


Trust and Intimacy

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: Trust and Intimacy [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sexual Dysfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: The first time it happened, David brushed it off as them moving too far too fast.  He could understand that, could accept that she wanted more than simply scratching an itch as it were.





	Trust and Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Date Written: 22 October 2017 - 3 February 2018  
> Word Count: 6081  
> Summary: The first time it happened, David brushed it off as them moving too far too fast. He could understand that, could accept that she wanted more than simply scratching an itch as it were.   
> Spoilers: Canon divergent AU, jinking off nebulously late in S2, but this fic takes place in S3. More details on that will come in future fics.  
> Warnings: Discussion of past rape, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and miscarriages. Also issues with sexual dysfuction.  
> Series: Trust and Intimacy  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/   
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Okay, so let's just say that this was initially intended to just be an angsty one shot. Then the muses took over and decided to connect this to another EvilCharming fic I've been writing called "To My Wife On Her Birthday", and that's all she wrote. There was a long gap in the writing of this due to a variety of issues, but here we are. There will definitely be more in this series, including finishing that other fic ASAP. And can I just say how hard it was to write in past tense after so many years of present tense? I'd've changed it, but David was insistent…
> 
> Please note: There are some heavy topics discussed here, so please heed the warnings and skip this fic if you have issue with those topics in the warnings.
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: theonlyspl, but all remaining errors can be chalked up to my stubborn pride…

The first time it happened, David brushed it off as them moving too far too fast. He could understand that, could accept that she wanted more than simply scratching an itch as it were. They breathlessly laughed it off, finished their wine, and he went home to take a long, cold shower. Not that it did him any good once he got into bed and the memories of kissing and touching her bubbled back up to the surface. He jacked off three times before his body finally was exhausted enough to let him sleep. His dreams that night were filled with the things he wanted to do to her, the ways he wanted to explore her. He wasn't refreshed in the morning or anything near well-rested, but he made do. Seeing her at Granny's that morning, looking every bit as haggard as he did behind the artfully crafted glamour of makeup, made him feel better about the whole situation. They'd tried to do too much before they were both truly ready for it. He could live with that.

The second time it happened was a couple of weeks later. Once again they were at her house, sitting before the fireplace in her den. Henry was spending the night with the Tillman twins, and David was happy to be alone with Regina. They always met at her house, never at the loft. He understood her reasoning, preferred it himself, but that didn't matter. He would go wherever she asked him to go, as long as she'd be there to greet him with that soft smile that lit up her eyes. They shared a dinner of pot roast and mashed potatoes with a mushroom gravy he'd wanted to drink right out of the gravy boat. He preferred it to her lasagna, but he loved all of her cooking, truth be told. The Shiraz was a tasty addition to the meal, the hints of pepper more prominent because of the food. After working together to clean up after dinner, they retired to the den to finish the bottle and open a second. It didn't take long before the kissing started. He knew to let Regina set the pace, just as he had every night for the last two weeks, not wanting a repeat of the cold shower. He didn't touch anything but her face and hair unless she requested it. And yet… This time though, instead of stopping and sending him home, Regina carefully unzipped his fly and stroked him with a steady, warm hand until she swallowed his orgasmic cries with her kisses. She politely refused him reciprocating and, when he noticed the melancholy in her eyes, distracted him by kissing him again and letting him get to second base. 

This pattern continued for several more weeks. It drove David insane that he couldn't figure out what was going on. He wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to ruin what they had building between them. He loved the handjobs and blowjobs -- that was a given -- and Regina was a consummate kisser. But he hated that he was thwarted from offering her the same pleasure in return. She didn't mind his hands on her hips or kneading her ass, but anything else below the belt was strictly off limits. The one time they got caught up in kissing, and his fingers slid beneath the waistband of her slacks, she'd gone perfectly still and ashen before making an excuse about an early meeting the next morning and ushering him to the door. For over a week after that incident, he barely even kissed her, unwilling to upset the woman with whom he was falling deeper in love every day. The haunted look in her eyes from that night plagued his mind, until he just couldn't stand it any longer.

"Regina," he asked softly, standing in the doorway to the kitchen as he watched her fidget while waiting on the microwave popcorn for their movie night. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied just as softly, but wouldn't turn around to face him. "Did you get the movie ready? The popcorn will be done in a minute or so."

The rigid set of her shoulders made his arms ache to hold her and massage the tension away. Indecision made him pause, unsure of how to proceed, but knowing he didn't want to see his lover so upset. The ding of the microwave pulled him from his reverie as Regina poured the popcorn into a large bowl, adding the salted cheddar cheese topping that he loved. In the space between one blink and the next, he was behind her, turning her around to face him as he pinned her to the counter.

"David?"

"I know something's bothering you." He cupped her cheek in one hand, the other gripping the counter for stability. "I wish you'd tell me what it is that I've done to upset you."

"You haven't upset me."

"Then why are you so timid around me? Why is that haunted look in your eyes every time I so much as try to kiss you now, let alone touch you? What the hell did I do, Regina? Just tell me so I can make sure to never do it again."

Regina was quiet for a long moment, eyes shuttered from him behind half-closed lids. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, raw with pain. "You haven't done anything, David. In fact, you've been far more patient with me than I probably deserve."

"Stop that," he replied, hand shifting to cup her chin and tilt her head up a bit more. "You deserve to be happy, to be loved and cherished." He took a deep breath and finally voiced the thought that had been plaguing his mind. "If you're not happy with me, just tell me, okay? If it's something I can fix, I will. If it's not, then…" He shrugged helplessly. "Then I don't know, but I can't do anything to make this better if you won't tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know if you _can_ fix it, David," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. "That's the problem. I don't know if anyone can fix this. I'm just tired of feeling so…"

"So what?"

" _Broken_."

That one word, barely whispered, seemed to break any displays of strength she'd been trying to maintain. David pulled her into his arms, holding her close as he shifted their positions. She buried her face in his chest, fingers gripping his shirt tightly. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, fighting tears of his own.

"Please tell me what's wrong, honey. It kills me to see you so upset."

She stiffened in his grip briefly, took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. Just not here."

David smiled against her hair and loosened his grip enough to let her step back and take his hand. Their fingers laced together, Regina led him to the den, settling on the couch with her legs pulled up to her chest. He sat opposite her on the couch, close enough for the comfort he could feel she would need, but not close enough to suffocate her. For several minutes, the only sounds in the room were their breathing and the crackling of the logs in the fireplace. He wondered if he should start asking her questions, but he knew that his girlfriend -- he hated that word, but lover wasn't right _yet_ , and everything else just felt wrong -- was a private person and needed to do this at her own pace.

"What do you know of my marriage to Leopold?" she finally asked, resting her chin on her knees. "And it's okay if you only know what Snow thought she knew."

He smiled sheepishly and nodded. "That's pretty much what I know, but I've heard you talking to Emma, Henry, and even Snow about where that was incorrect. I only knew of the public opinions of him, given that our farm was in George's kingdom. And by the time I became George's surrogate son, I only knew that he and Leopold had held a tentative truce for propriety's sake, but George wanted his kingdom in the worst way. He just wasn't about to go up against you and your magic."

"George always was predictable in what he wanted and what he was willing to do to get it." She offered a brief, almost predatory smile at that, but it disappeared quickly enough. "So you only knew of the perceived public persona then?" When he nodded, she repeated the motion. "That was not the way he was with me. He only married me because of Snow. Well, and my mother's interference. If Snow hadn't been so full of hero worship for me, I don't think he'd have even had a clue as to who I was. But he proposed and Mother accepted and…" She paused then, hand tentatively reaching out for his, which he gladly offered her, lacing their fingers together again. "It wasn't enough that I was forced to mourn Daniel in private, or that I was thrust into this lavish wedding that I wanted nothing to do with, but Leopold didn't even care about me. Oh, he made sure to make it looked like I was the perfect trophy wife in public. He wouldn't do with any court gossip to the contrary. But he never loved me, not like he loved Eva and Snow."

"I'm sorry he didn't treat you as you deserve to be."

That fleeting smile touched her lips again and was gone between one breath and the next. "I went to my wedding night a virgin. Daniel and I hadn't done much more than kissing and a few fumbled attempts at touching each other. I had no idea what I was doing, and Leopold was so much older than I was. Mother told me to let him take the lead, to show him that I could be whatever he wanted or needed as a wife. She-- She didn't know how cruel he would be."

David's heart clenched in his chest at her words. "Regina, you don't need to do this."

She squeezed his hand. "Yes, I do. I need you to understand. It would take years to understand all of it, but Leopold knew very well whose daughter I was. He was more than happy to exact some revenge on Mother in how he diligently worked to break me in body and spirit, not to mention the fact that he went to his grave still deeply in love with his first wife. I was a wife in name only. In reality, I was his concubine, the vessel to store his rage, his brutality, his seed. That I never birthed a child to him only fueled his need to get me pregnant again and again and debase me further."

"You never--"

"Oh, he got me pregnant twice. Or was it three times? Four?" David could see that she was trying to play it off like it didn't matter, but he knew her well enough to see the lie for what it was. "It didn't matter. None of those pregnancies took. The longest lasted just over five months, long enough for me to feel the baby quickening in my womb and change my physical appearance. During that particular pregnancy, Leopold treated me the best he ever had or would, pampered me and was gentle with me in every way. He was certain I bore a boy, a prince to rule his kingdom. When the contractions came on and that tiny lifeless girl was placed in my arms oh so briefly, I knew by the thunderous look on his face that things would never be good again. I named her Sarah." She tried to blink back tears and glanced up at him. "You're the first person to know that."

He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Thank you. I'm honored that you shared that with me. It's a beautiful name."

"She was beautiful; tiny and delicate like a porcelain doll. She fit in my hands with room to spare, but she was my little angel. I had a private burial with Daddy. She was buried near Daniel's grave. It didn't matter that she wasn't his child, he was the father I wanted for her. I had her grave transported here during the curse. I visit her when I go to see my parents in the family crypt." She wiped at her eyes and cleared her throat. "The midwife warned Leopold that I needed to rest and heal, but he didn't pay her any heed. It wasn't even twenty-four hours after the miscarriage and he was already forcing himself on me. Whether to punish me or get me pregnant again, I have no idea. I hadn't even fully stopped bleeding from the trauma of the miscarriage and he was making it worse. But what I'd thought as brutal prior to that miscarriage was nothing compared to what came after. That, more than anything else, pushed me to want him dead."

"If he was still alive now, I'd kill him for you," David growled, flushed with anger at the man.

That made her smile softly and squeeze his hand. "My handsome protector. If you'd been around then, I might've given Snow a run for her money."

"That you might have," he said with a sheepish grin. "I _am_ sorry that Leopold…" He couldn't say the words.

"That he brutally raped me on a nightly basis unless I was pregnant? That he would purposely call out his dead wife's name when he came? He even called out my mother's name a few times." She let out a sharp bark of acidic laughter at that. "He got very good at making sure that there were no visible marks of his abuse where anyone in the court could see them. On the rare occasions when he did leave visible marks, I was confined to my rooms with only my father to wait on me until they healed. No servants saw me, Snow didn't see me, and he made sure that I knew my place."

"I would really like to kill him."

"His death was painful and just slow enough that I know he suffered greatly. I wish I could have been there to see it happen, but it was enough that he died. No one suspected my part in his death for quite some time. By the time they did, I was firmly in position as queen and Snow had been run off to the forest. The night he died was the last night he brutalized me. I was still recovering when Sidney came to tell me of the success of the Agrabahn vipers. That was the last night I ever allowed a man any access to my body that I didn't control."

"The last-- What about Graham?" The second the question passed his lips, David regretted it and started to apologize, but she shook her head.

"Magic and the ability to control hearts went a long way to the reputation I had cultivated as the Evil Queen. Even during the curse, nothing happened as he thought it did. I tried once with him, not long before I adopted Henry. I was so traumatized, I nearly killed him in my fear."

"But how…"

"It was built into the curse that we only went so far and then he'd fall asleep and wake up assuming that we'd had sex. Even when we had our Saturday trysts at Granny's, it was the same way. I felt better with a warm body next to me as I slept, but I couldn’t do anything further."

Without thought, David tugged on her hand and pulled her into his embrace. She fought briefly, and he nearly gave up, but just held her when she suddenly crawled into his lap and clung to him. Her shoulders shook with the intensity of her pent-up emotions and grief. He rubbed her back and murmured soft words of comfort and nonsense, just wanting to prove to her that he was there for her, no matter what. The sting of tears burned down his own cheeks as he thought about what she'd just confessed to him. The need to resurrect Leopold just so he could beat the hell out of the bastard before killing him again was stronger than he ever expected. He'd never even hated the Evil Queen as much as he did the brutal monster that had helped to create her.

"Now you know my shame," she finally whispered brokenly, "why I'm so damaged that I can't even give you what you want."

"Shh, honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of. What he did to you was unspeakably cruel. None of it was your fault, Regina, and it doesn't change how I feel about you. In fact, it only makes me more impressed by your strength to have survived his brutality to still be here now. You could've given up at any time, but you didn't."

"But I can't give you what you wa--"

"What I want," he said, interrupting what he knew would be more self-flagellation from her, "is for you to be honest with me, no matter what. Sex is nice, but it's not a requirement to be in this relationship. I love you, all of you, and I want you to feel safe enough to tell me anything. You are probably the bravest woman I have ever known, and I am honored that you shared this with me."

His lips pressed gently to her forehead as he held her, letting her cry and bleed off as much of her emotions as she could. He'd be damned if he'd let her feel alone in this turmoil. He was in this for the long haul, he wanted no one else in his life and his heart but Regina. They sat there for some indeterminable amount of time, his arms keeping her close, but ready to let go at a second's notice if she needed space. The only sounds were her sobs and gasping breaths occasionally punctuated by his soft nonsensical reassurances. Eventually, her cries faded to intermittent sniffles and whimpers, body relaxing into his fully. He shifted to accommodate her minute movements, cheeks resting on the crown of her head when she nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you," she finally whispered. Her words were so soft, he'd have sworn he imagined them if not for the air puffing against his skin.

"You're welcome. I will always be here for you, Regina. _Always_." Her body remained lax in his arms, but he felt the shudder and the heat of tears soaking into his shirt again a minute later. "Hey, it's okay, honey." She didn't answer him, just clung harder and pressed tear-dampened kisses to his neck. His grip on her never wavered, wanting to be the solid presence he knew she needed. When she yawned, he grinned and shifted to stand, hoisting her up in a bridal hold.

"David?" she asked, head lifting to meet his gaze in confusion. He could see how haggard she looked: the mascara-stained tear tracks leading away from bloodshot eyes; the reddened, sniffling nose; the exhausted expression. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed." She stiffened then and started to push away from him, but his grip remained firm and gentle. "Regina, stop. It's not like that. You're absolutely shattered and you need to sleep. The movie can wait. I'll stay long enough to make sure you get to bed, then I'll let myself out and go home. Please, honey, let me do this for you?"

"You-- You'd do that?" Her struggling ceased and she sagged against his chest again.

"Of course, I would," David replied, heading out of the den and toward the stairs. "I love you, Regina, and I want you to feel safe and happy and not alone. No matter what it takes, I want you to feel good and worthy of the love and friendship people offer you, okay?"

She nodded and sighed softly. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?"

"I will stay as long as you need me to."

She glanced up at him then, an almost painful vulnerability naked in her eyes. "What if I need you to stay all night? To keep away the nightmares?"

His smile was broad as he leaned in to brush his nose against hers. "Then I get I get to see just how sinfully decadent your bed really is, don't I?" As the soft giggle escaped her lips, he shifted just enough to kiss her. "That's the happy sound I like to hear."

He paused at the top of the steps. He was pretty sure which bedroom was hers, but waited for her to point it out first. He made his way at her prompting and opened the door, stopping just inside the room to take in the view. He'd been past her bedroom before, usually on his way to Henry's room, but never really took the time to study hers, and their make out sessions were always down in the den. He knew just how big of a step this was for them, and he'd be damned if he fucked it up now.

"Wow!" he finally whispered and looked down to see her curiously studying his face. "You have excellent taste, honey. I mean, I know that goes without saying, but this is… This is elegant and understated. I could get used to a room like this."

"You could?"

His smile grew and he nodded as he let her down to stand in front of him, hands on her hips for her support. "Hell yes, I could. I mean, if you're okay with that." Before she could answer, he leaned down to kiss her again. "Go wash your face and get ready for bed. I'll turn down the bed and, uh…" He blushed, realizing he had nothing to change into and sleeping in jeans all night would be uncomfortable at best.

Regina bit her bottom lip and let out another soft giggle as she flicked her wrist. A small cloud of purple smoke hovered over the end of the bed, dissipating to reveal sweatpants. "Those should be your size. If you want something different, just say so, okay?"

"Sweats are more than fine. Thank you, Regina."

He kissed her again, then watched as she walked into the bathroom. She popped her head back out almost instantly to ask, "Do you want a shower at all?" When he shook his head, she smiled. "I'm going to take one, so just make yourself comfortable."

He waited a moment to see if she'd need anything else, but when he heard the shower starting, he stripped down to t-shirt, boxers, and socks. Slipping into the sweats, he sighed softly. They were warm and felt as soft as the ones he'd owned for years. He got the bed ready, setting the shams on the chaise, then turned to study the room a little more. The framed photos of Regina and Henry at various stages of his life made David wish he'd been around for more of his grandson's life. Perhaps if she'd had more friendly people around during the curse, and even before that in the Enchanted Forest, things would be very different for Regina. He settled on the end of the bed to ponder the ramifications of this possibility for a few minutes, staring sightlessly at the fireplace.

"It's gas."

Her words brought him back to the present. "What?" He smiled at the sight of her standing in the doorway of the bathroom in a purple robe, towel drying her hair. He'd never heard the shower turn off.

"The fireplace," she said, pointing at it. "It's gas, if you want to turn it on." She smiled and disappeared in the bathroom again, but left the door open. He couldn't help but get up to lean on the doorframe and watch her, after turning on the fireplace to warm the room. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged and grinned. "Just watching you." He stepped into the bathroom, taking the comb from her hand to start gently working it through her hair. He took his time, working until each strand moved freely, then he set the comb aside to replace it with his fingers. Glancing in the mirror, he noted Regina's hands gripped the counter tightly, her eyes shut with a peaceful look on her face. He chuckled softly and ran his hands down her shoulders and arms to get her attention. Her eyes fluttered open, slightly unfocussed, and she smiled at him. "You look like you're ready to pass out. Is there anything else you need to do yet?"

"No," she replied, a flush creeping across her cheeks, down her neck, and below the robe.

He shifted to let her out of the bathroom first, turning off the light as he followed her. She slipped off her robe and laid it across the foot of the bed as she walked around it, revealing a black camisole and matching pajama pants. Tucking a bit of hair behind her ear, she slipped under the covers on her side of the bed and leaned back against the headboard. David settled next to her, mirroring her position. The fireplace was on her side of the room, throwing a faint glow on them as she turned out her bedside lamp and shifted down to rest on her right side, facing him. He echoed her movements, lying on his left side, and rested his right hand on the mattress between them. His smile grew when she took his hand and laced their fingers together.

"Just rest now, honey," he said softly. "You're safe."

"Will you-- Is it--" She sighed heavily, meeting his gaze when he squeezed her hand. "You don't have to if you don't want to, David, but would you spoon me? It helps me sleep."

He tugged at her hand. "C'mere, honey." When she settled her back against his chest, he pulled up the covers over them and wrapped an arm around her waist lightly, hand splayed low across her belly. "There we go. Sweet dreams, Regina."

He felt it when she drifted off into sleep finally, a lassitude settling over her body as she relaxed further into him. His smile was gentle as he pressed his lips to her shoulder. He simply lay there, listening to her breathing, letting the warmth of the fire and her body against his lull him into slumber eventually. He wasn't sure how long they slept that way, but he woke quickly when she began moving against him. It was more like the erection springing to life that woke him, and he let out a low groan at how good it felt. But any and all erotic thoughts fled his mind when she began to thrash about, crying out softly in a pained, fearful voice. His touch gentled even more as he shifted up to his elbow to watch her.

"No, please don't. I'm sorry. I'll do better next time. Please, it hurts."

"Regina?" he whispered, hand moving to lightly stroke down her arm. He had to fight to keep the anger and bile down at the realization of her words. "Shh, honey, it's okay. You're safe. It's me, David. He's not here, he can't hurt you anymore." He repeated his words, lips next to her ear as he said them over and over.

"No!" she cried out, suddenly sitting upright in bed, nearly elbowing him in the face in the process. She looked around the room, eyes wide and pupils blown out in fear, panting harshly.

He sat up with her, still murmuring softly to let her know he was there, that she was safe, that she wasn't alone, but he didn't touch her this time. She needed to be fully aware of herself and her surroundings before he'd startle her like that.

"D-David?"

The soft, pathetic sound of his name tore at his heart, and that hateful rage to kill Leopold for hurting her, _damaging_ her so badly flooded his system. A slow, deep breath, followed by another, forced that rage away; she didn't need him making things worse.

"I'm right here, honey. It was just a dream." She turned to collapse against him, his arms wrapping around her tightly as he pressed his lips to her hair repeatedly. "Shh, it's okay, Regina. You're okay, you're safe. I've got you." She whimpered and clung to him, shivering. "When you're ready, we'll get back under the covers to get you warmed up again."

The tears fell in earnest, soaking into his t-shirt, but he just held her close and kept rubbing her back, his mantra repeated between gentle kisses to her hair and temple. When she shivered again, harder this time, he smiled and scooted down until horizontal again, bringing her with him. It was Regina who reached out for the blankets, pulling them up to just under her chin where she rested against his chest. She took a deep breath, let it out on a sigh, and wiped at the wetness on her cheeks.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome, honey. You think you can sleep again yet?" He wasn't surprised when she shook her head and clung to him like a burr. "Okay, what would you like to do instead?"

"Talk to me? Tell me something, _anything_ that will take my mind off my nightmare."

"Okay, but will you answer me one question?" When she hummed in agreement, he shifted to stroke her cheek. "How long do the nightmares usually last after you've talked about what happened? Or are they kind of a recurring thing in general? I'm only asking because I want to know how to help you, how to make you feel less threatened by them."

She froze against him for a moment; the only movement was her teeth worrying at her bottom lip. "That was two questions," she finally said in a small voice, but there was a hint of amusement that made him smile. "I don't really talk about them much. I hate how it makes me feel." She sighed softly and shifted up onto an elbow to meet his gaze. "The nightmares have happened off and on ever since my wedding night. Magic went a long way to making sure I looked more in control than I really was back in the old land. Coffee and some fantastic makeup did it here."

He bit his lip at that, knowing it for the lie it was. And then the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. "It may have felt like they helped here, but they didn't. I could see that you were struggling, but assumed someone else was helping you. Had I realized…" He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry that I unwittingly allowed you to continue to suffer in silence as you did. You didn't and don't deserve that."

She shook her head, blinking rapidly against the glassiness in her eyes. "David, no. This wasn't your fault. This was and is my burden to bear."

"And that's where you're wrong, Regina. I don't love only your good parts, okay? I love all of you, good and bad." She shook her head, a faint blush highlighting the small smile tugging at her lips. "Yes, honey, all of you. The more I learn about you, the more intriguing you are. When I learn things like you shared with me tonight, I get so overly protective of that beautiful, big heart you hide behind the prickly, bitchy exterior of the Evil Queen."

"But--"

"No buts. Whatever you want or need from me, all you have to do is ask, okay? If you never want to go public with our relationship, I'll hate it, but I'll do it for you. If you never want to do anything more than the fooling around we've done to date, then that's what we do. If you just need me to help you sleep more peacefully, I will be here every single night to hold you close like this, no questions asked. I refuse to force you into anything like _he_ did. You deserve so much more than you've been given over the years. If you'll let me, I'd like to give you what you've been missing, what you and your heart deserve."

"Why?"

"Regina--"

She shook her head and interrupted him with, "No, it's not like that. I'm genuinely curious. I know what L-- _he_ wanted of me, what every man wants of me. But you're different, and I honestly don't understand."

He smiled at that, relieved that she wasn't succumbing to self-defeating thoughts with her question. "Let me ask you this. You say you know what all men want of you. Did Daniel want the same thing of you?"

"No." Her voice was soft; the change was evident in her face, easing the lines around her eyes and mouth, making her look years younger. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was how she looked back when she was first thrust into all of this hell that became her life. "Daniel was so sweet and made me feel like I deserved the love and happiness he offered me. He made me feel like I was the center of his universe, that nothing and no one else mattered. He only ever made one demand of me, and when I finally felt I was ready to fulfill it, he was taken from me." She frowned then, but leaned into his touch when he cupped her cheek. "I know ultimately that it wasn't Snow's fault, but…" Her words trailed off as she shrugged and closed her eyes.

"But it didn't change the fact that she unknowingly aided in the destruction of the only good thing in your life at that point," he whispered, finishing her thought. When she nodded, he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I know she's sorry for what happened, just as I know that there is a lot of baggage there to be unpacked, things that you can never truly reconcile in your life. And you know what?"

"What?"

"It's okay that you still have those issues with her. You're trying to be a better person, but you're not perfect, nor should you be. Just do what you can, when you can, and go from there. And when you stumble and start to slide back down that slippery slope, I want you to know that I will be there with my arms out, whether to pull you up or to catch you when you fall. You no longer need to do this alone, as long as you accept what I am freely offering, no strings attached."

He met her gaze openly and weathered the penetrating scrutiny, caught in the emotions flitting past those darkly soulful eyes of hers. He couldn't name a great many of them, but what he could nearly stopped his heart in their intensity. Only when the hesitant, sweet smile lit up her face did he let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"It won't be easy to love me, David," she said, and he recognized the self-preservation tactic for what it was.

"I know, but I'm up for the challenge if you are."

She turned her head slightly to press a fleeting kiss to the center of his palm, eyes still on his. "I'm willing to try and see where this takes us. I--" She blushed hotly, biting her bottom lip.

"I know, honey." His thumb caressed the apple of her cheek. "When you're ready to say it, I will happily accept it. Until then, just know that I have enough love to say it for both of us." She nodded, looked like she was going to say something, but a yawn overtook her. He couldn't help the chuckle at her adorable blush. "It looks like somebody's sleepy. Think you're ready to give it another chance tonight?"

"As long as you're here, I'm willing to try anything."

It wouldn't be until after she'd fallen asleep in his arms, and he was near sleep himself, that he'd realize exactly what she was trying to convey in those ten simple words.

He'd die before he broke the implicit trust she'd just placed in him.


End file.
